Friday, March 31, 2017

Things get me thinking

This ten year business has me thinking about other marriages. For example, did you know that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were once married? I am sure you hear the sarcasm in that statement. 

But, did you know that they used to eat dinner naked?

I kid you not. Like, flapping in the wind for all to see- the birthday suit you were born with, N - A - K - E - D. While I am most certain that they thought this would sound so sexy, the reality is that it makes me wonder:

What did they eat?

Could you imagine if it were soup? 

“Honeyyyyy— shuck your shoes and your clothes at the door, I made chicken noo-dlllleeeee,” Jenn calls from the kitchen. Maybe Brad cringed a little and decided he wasn’t hungry, because if that soup spilled — the man would be in trouble.

If they ate naked, did she cook naked? Because that, my friends, is not hygienically correct. That isn’t sanitary and that’s just icky. Of course,I have to ask- if she cooked naked….

Did she cook bacon?

My money is on no.

And how did they come to conclusion that eating naked would be a good idea? Did one of their friends tell them to do this or did they come up with this idea all on their own? 

Do you think they ate lasagna? Used cloth napkins? Do we think they used napkins? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, tell me they were smart enough to use napkins.

Did they do the dishes? 

Of course, these are all foolish questions as this is Brad and Jenn we are talking about. The Hollywood Power Couple that were going to last forever. They had cooks and maids and people to do those kinds of things for them. 

Would it have been awkward if they used old family recipes? Perhaps it depended on the recipe. Grilled chicken, totally fine but weiner schtiznel, absolutely awkward.

I’m not making fun of them, truly I am curious about these things. If I ran into Jenn at the beauty parlor at the Pumpkin Patch off Rural Route 1, I would ask these things. 

“Hey, Jenn. Wife. Nice to meet you. Listen, I have to ask….an autograph? No. I need to know about this eating dinner naked business. Did you cover your seats before you sat down? Was this something your publicist cooked up? Did you eat soup?”

These are things I think about while I am waiting for my kids in carline. 

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