Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Too Much

I have too much going on, I cannot tell a lie.

House is being rented this weekend, Husband is working, Brother needs a little help at the office, grants need to be written, children need a mother, and a mother "gets" to chair the auction at Parochial. No where in there do you see that I get to be a wife, blogger, or fun-lover.

I keep thinking that life is a comedy, and it is.

I'm just freaking busy.

All of the things I am doing, I love doing them. I adore going to Brother's office and helping him file things and double check his work. It's awesome to watch him work. It's awe-inspiring to see him start a new company within his current one and build it from the ground up.

He's my hero all over again.

Now, if I could get him to pay me....

Since I was a child, I always wanted to be a writer. Wow. That's the first time I have ever "written" that down. It is something I have always enjoyed doing and I feel like there is talent there. Writing grants, editing grants, uploading, and all those things that go along with grants allows me to check that box in my life. I am paid to write. And that makes me feel good.

Those little cherubs. Those blessings that are the reason I get up in the morning, have a streak of gray hair, and can't keep a house neat enough for anyone to surprise me- yeah, those. They keep me on my toes and in my car.

Check this out:

School, 8a-3p: Birdie
School, 9a-1p: Bennie
Ballet, 4p: Bennie
RCIA, 7p-8p: Husband

School, 8a-3p: Birdie
Piano, 3:15p: Birdie
Tennis, 5:30-6:15p: Birdie

School, 8a-3p: Birdie
School, 9a-1p: Bennie and Fuzzy
Ballet, 5p-6p: Birdie

School, 8a-3p: Birdie
School, 9a-1p: Bennie and Fuzzy
Gymnastics, 3:15p-4p: Bennie
Tennis, 5:30-6:15p: Birdie

School, 8a-3p: Birdie

It's a joke, right? RIGHT? Then there's homework, naps, snacks, and whatever else I forget. Dinner has been thrown out the window. We eat cereal, Stouffer's, or turkey sandwiches when I remember to go to the grocery store. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it- but when I finally wrote down where we had to be and when, I fell out.

And then there's the auction. 

People hate change. I love it. It took me a long time to realize that I adore change. I thrive in it. It is why Husband and I have lived three years at the time for our entire marriage, how I have not stayed in one residence more than two and a half years since my father's house- which I left when I was 17.

{side note: We just entered our third year living in The Manor.}

I don't deal with chaos under time constraints, but give me change-- change I can work with and, typically, succeed. 

SO-- the auction. I am really enjoying chairing it. I am not kidding. You can tell by how much time I spend on it and the little details I keep thinking of that need to be dealt with. 

The one thing that scares me, keeps me up at night- really, is what is going to happen the week of the auction. That's when all that chaos drops in my lap and we have a finite amount of time to get things inputted, organized, transported, and set up.

Failure is not something I enjoy. 

I put together an awesome group of people who are helping me. As I find things that need to be done, I find someone that can help me do them. For instance, one person has the job of printing logos for me. That's it. Her entire job is printing logos. And I ADORE her for it. It makes me have one less thing that needs to be done that week. 

My team is amazing. They put up with me and my emails. And my updates. And my structure. I have a lot of structure. And excel sheets. Lots and lots of excel sheets. I don't think they knew what they were getting into when they thought I would be good for this job. 

Husband asked me if I was going to end up being the PTO President and I politely told him no, with just one expletive in front of that two letter word. This is the extent of my handiwork. 

Brother has an office, grants need to be written, children need to be mothered, a husband needs a wife, and I need me back.

It's Wednesday and almost one o'clock. It's time to get back in the car and get on with my day. 

Forward motion.

1 comment:

mamathreads said...

I could text you or wait until I run into you at the ballet studio parking lot, but comments are a whole different kind of hug and high five, right? Just wanted to say that this resonated with me - wanting to write, but not having the time, the busyness of life being straight up comical (if sometimes painful)...everything except that whole loving change thing. I've finally realized how good it is for me, but I'm still working through not fighting it every time I see it coming. ;) Happy weekend, friend.