Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Time gets away

I missed my mid day pumping and I feel it as I sit in carline. After spending two hours with Brother at the Apple store, reminding him not to be grumpy, we headed to Mexican for lunch. His treat. My mom dropped off Bennie and after I took Brother back to the office- I realized that it was not enough time to go home and too much time to head to the carpool line.

It dawned on me that poor, poor Fuzzy had not had his diaper changed in quite a few hours. He needs new diapers, having been the first Cagle baby to outgrow newborn diapers before three months of age. Killing two birds with one stone, I head to Buy Buy Baby for both a purchase of new diapers and that very necessary diaper change.

Sweet baby and Precious Bennie are loaded up in the buggy and we head directly to the back for diapers. Bennie is under the cart, pulling items off the bottom shelf as we walk and tossing them under the cart in order to make room for the next. Stepping over Claritin, the snot sucker, and some purple stuff that must be related to snake oil, we left a trail of breadcrumbs should we get lost and have to crawl our way out to the front door.

Fortunate for us, the bathroom was empty. Unfortunate for us, Fuzzy needed a serious diaper change. His Feltman Brothers outfit was shucked and promptly tossed in the diaper bag.

No change of clothes.

I pull the diaper off and toss it.

There's stuff everywhere. I start grabbing wipes and forget to pay attention to Bennie because she is hemmed in in the bathroom.

That bathroom that has all kinds of toys for her to discover.

Like the toilet seat. It makes a huge clatter when lifted and slammed shut. Fuzzy screams.
It was when I heard the paper bags from those darn little silver trash squares mounted on the wall did I finally scream at her to come out of the bathroom.

She comes out carrying a wax paper bag.

I scream. She hands me a present.

Thank the sweet Lord that the wax paper bag was empty.

Looking up at me with doe eyes, she spies a stool and moves it to the sink.

Fuzzy continues to scream in all his naked glory. An employee opens the door to make sure that no one has come within an inch of their life. I smile. More wipes get tossed in the trashcan. Bennie discovers how to throw water.

That child. She is spirited.

Fuzzy baptizes the changing station, which is fine, because Bennie has started throwing water on the changing table. Good job, Bennie. Thank you for killing two birds with one stone. Bennie is occupied. Fuzzy gets a bath. The changing table gets clean. It's a win-win-win.

Drying off Fuzzy with paper towels and distracting Bennie with a shiny thing, I start to place him back in his carseat.

Whoops. That's gotta get clean.

More wipes in the trash can. More screams for Fuzzy, who is... after all.. naked. Bennie breaks free and runs for the handicap bathroom. How'd she learn to lock the door? It's barely within her reach.

The infant insert is removed and tossed in the diaper bag with the clothes. The blanket he was wrapped in is somehow saved.

Bennie discovers how to unlock the door before I have to shimmy underneath it.

Motherhood is awesome.

On the way out, I stand in line with two screaming children waiting to purchase my opened pack of diapers. The lady rings me up at $21.98 and decides that now will be a perfect time to inform me of the new return policy that will take place in mid-April. Really? Now's a good time? Bennie is standing up in the buggy screaming. Fuzzy has kicked off his blanket, revealing his nakedness and I have soiled items in my diaper bag. Please, please tell me about the new return policy for the opened diapers.

Apparently, the only thing that changed is that... I have no idea. I wasn't listening. Must have something to do with opened packages before purchase.

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