Thursday, May 22, 2014

Restless, she is.

I mentioned aout twenty minutes ago that the native was getting restless.

In the last fifteen minutes, she has....

- gotten into the dining room and found the one Waterford goblet that is at her height behind a very tight cabinet door. She got into it with no problem.
- Fortunately, she didn't break it. I was too busy snatching it from her hands and shooing her out of the room.
- She ran straight to the den... straight to the gas fireplace... and straight to those fascinating little knobs that turn the gas on.
- While flipping off the gas, she grabbed a neatly folded blanket and pulled it into the kitchen, where we she proceeded to open up three cabinets and pull out the contents of said three cabinets.
- Pushing her out of the kitchen, I try to occupy her attention for thirty seconds with some broken glass and Clorox. As I am throwing said contents of said three cabinets back into their homes- I look up and Bennie has flipped herself onto the couch. No big deal, right?


We have a table behind the couch that now holds nothing. She has pushed everything off and is standing on the table.

BENNIE! I scream.

She claps her hands and laughs.

I get her down and decide that the broken glass and Clorox ain't cutting it and opt for something a little more her speed- dad's hospital shoes, rusty razor blades, and  dry-cleaning bags.

LMC and I decide that we need to make a mess in the kitchen, but first we need to load the dishwasher. Bennie heads over to where we are and proceeds to open all the drawers-- all ten drawers behind me. I turn around to see this only to turn back around and Bennie is underfoot at the sink...

getting into the dishwasher. Literally, getting into the dishwasher. Pulling her out, I start loading it, but she is faster at unloading it. I hand her a sharp steak knife in the hopes that I can finish one task. She finds some penicillin leftover in an old sippy-cup. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this and scream. The penicillin hangs dangerously close to her mouth on one finger. I grab it and spin her around.

She untwists the Jet-Dry knob.

LMC looks at me and says, "Mama, I thought we were going to make a mess in the kitchen?"

We're getting there honey, Mama just needs to sit down for a second.

Bennie rounds the corner with my phone and wallet. "CONTRABAND!" she screams. This does not faze me. Over my shoulder I see that LMC is hanging from the mantle where she has placed Rainbow Dash- who flips on command- next to the [very fragile, very old, very special to me] tea cup. This is resolved with faster feet than gravity.

Having dropped my wallet and phone somewhere, Bennie flips back onto the conch and takes all those throw pillows and does just that- throws them.

Good job, Bennie.
Good job, LMC.

Mama gets it. It's summertime.

1 comment:

Family Snodgrass said...

You need some cabinet locks and a play pen! :)