Friday, May 30, 2014


Sitting in the quiet of my home, in my messy kitchen- my children are still sleeping. I love the quiet of the morning. Before the chaos sets in, the whines, the giggles- the peacefulness- it's something my mind needs to start the day as a better mother.

Lucky came into the world yesterday.

I watched the big brother in my husband "not be nervous" and FIL's love for a daughter "remain placid" in the wake of childbirth. Sister and David (her husband) were behind two sets of heavy doors and every time they swung open- which was about every 45 seconds- FIL and Husband would laugh at MIL for jumping up looking for her son-in-law. In truth, the only way they knew she was jumping up was because they, too, were casually careening their necks every time they heard those same doors swing open.

Mama sneaking back to put her ear on the door every ten minutes

They were a bucket of nerves [she says so piously, as if she was not nervous for the road ahead].

It was beautiful. It was amazing. It was the love of family.

Less than an hour after she started pushing, Lucky made his first screams. David looked at his son, his wife, and as she sobbed at the sight of this child that took five years to create, he told her for the millionth time that he loved her. He loves his family.

Thanks to text messaging, all six phones in the waiting room starting buzzing and binging with a picture of the newest addition to our family.

"He is here!"

Indeed, he was here! There is no turning back!

After lunch, after a bath {his}, and more time sitting and waiting, we finally saw Lucky in the flesh. Not behind glass, not tucked into Sister's nook under her chin- but in his bucket, swaddled in a burrito with a funny hat and big eyes.

It was Wife's turn to sneak through the doors.

I wink at the nurse and she opens the doors when no one was looking. I peak around the corner and ever so quietly tap on her door. David opens it up. He and Lucky were hanging tight, having a moment. I ask if I can take take some pictures before they realize I am gone.

After about five minutes, there was a louder knock on the door. I had been discovered.

Quickly, I scoop him up, give him a kiss and whisper things to him that he needed to know:

Lucky, welcome to the world- it is a crazy place. This is a crazy family. You were loved before you were even made. Your parents are wonderful. They are going to mess up sometimes, but so are you. Take it easy on them. Uncle Husband and I will be there with you every step of the way. Your daddy is going to teach you how to fly. Your mama is going to teach you how to ride horses. If your daddy doesn't beat me to it, I'll teach you how to drive a five speed.

We are all going to teach you how to love- but you already have such great parents to learn to love from. 

You are going to grow and go to school, you're going to play sports, you're going to have friends and foes. All of these things will carry you through your days and make you the man that you will become. 

Your days are going to be amazing. Life is amazing. Change is hard. But think about how much better it is going to be on the outside than it was on the inside. And the inside was all you ever knew until about an hour ago. Had you stayed there, we never would have met. And trust me, I'm a super fun aunt. You can tell me anything, you can trust me the way you will trust your mother. But, I have to earn it.

Let's start small with the trust. How 'bout I not drop you when I pass you off to your grandfather who is coming in for his turn with you? Thank you for giving me a minute in your world. 

It'll be a hell of an adventure. In the end, you'll look back and love every minute of it. Thank you for coming into the world. Thank you for coming into my world. 

I passed off Lucky to an elated grandfather. He kissed his forehead and smiled that smile he smiled 12 times before with his 12 other grandchildren. This one though- this one was his baby. His last born having her first born. That makes Lucky extra special.

Tomorrow they go home. They will strap him into his carseat and drive through College Town- the town where they met, fell in love, and committed themselves to one another- they will stop in their driveway and David will help Sister out of the car before getting Lucky out. They will step inside those doors and their lives will never be the same.

Change is hard. But they will quickly realize how much better it is on this side of parenthood. In the end, they will look back on this day, on this moment, and know that they became better people, a better couple, and loved each other stronger because of this change.

Change is hard, but it can be good. Very good.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Congrats to Grace and David! I love that you call the thing they sleep in at the hospital a "bucket"! I called it that when Rollins was born and the nurses thought I was strange :)

Rebecca Borchard (Spence)