Saturday, October 26, 2013


If someone out there can hang wallpaper for a song and a dance, allow me to strum my guitar and find my tap shoes. I was put on this earth to do many things-- make beautiful babies, collect an obnoxious amount of knowledge on sterling flatware, drink wine, hang pictures, catch fish-- you get the idea.

I was not put on this earth to hang wallpaper.

My father was put on this earth to hang wallpaper. He has, however, retired from that business and his paper hanging days are over.

My MIL was put on this earth to hang wallpaper. She is damn good at it, too. Her paper hanging days aren't over yet, thanktheSweetLord. They came in town last week to a list for her three deep:

- Paint the chandelier
- Paint the other chandelier
- Hang wallpaper

LMC added one thing:

- Buy me "My Little Pony" shoes.

Foolish me thought, "How hard can this be? It's paper, for Pete's sake. Not only that, it's supposed to be easy paper as it is fake wallpaper."

Long story short, you can tell the pieces that MIL hung and the pieces I hung.

MIL: 1
Wife: 0

Let's talk about this fake wallpaper, though. It's pretty cool. Embracing the pink tile, I decided to find a wallpaper that was both cute and girly. It didn't matter what it cost as it would be cheaper than ripping out the Pepto-Bismol pink and laying Carrera marble in a herringbone pattern. Dreams aside, I found Tempaper.

Remember LMC's little bathroom in the old apartment with those farm animals? (It's safe to say that I have improved on my picture taking skills...) I loved those little guys and had fun with them. In the end, they were so easy to pull off and throw away. That's the worst part about wallpaper- the end. When you finally admit you are sick of whatever pattern you have or that it is outdated, like fruit in the kitchen- why did anyone ever think that was a good idea? And then another six months goes by because you do not want to start that task. The pulling of paper in tiny pieces that makes profanity sound tame with the sputters coming out of that pretty mouth.

Husband and Wife promised each other that all of our homes would be wallpaper free because that task is arduous and it, flat out, sucks.

I digress....

Knowing that vinyl stickers were out there,  I figured that there had to be wallpaper along the same lines. After research on the WWW and discovering quite a few patterns that were, ahem, ugly- one looked like it came from a brothel in the wild west. I fell in love with our little elephants and thought it would be a perfect pair for our Pepto-Heaven bathroom for our pink little girls.

I bought it. I paid retail. I didn't even shop around. $92 after taxes and shipping a roll. The bathroom took every single bit of two rolls. $184.... and then I found it on Amazon for half price. Curses! But, it's done and I am pleased.

And even more pleased that at the end of it's run, I can pull it off as easily as my MIL hung it. That's something I can get behind.

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