Saturday, June 1, 2013

Poolside Observations

I love being poolside at our apartment complex. Really, to see those twenty-somethings and to hear the conversations that they think no one is listening to-- it is great.

And the parade of the poor decisions.

That's my favorite.

Allow me to share my most recent observations...

(1) that piece of elastic running down the back of your bikini bottom meant to accentuate your cheeks and the definition between the two- does just that. And not the way you want.

(2) I am pleased that mono-kinis have gone out of style, that being said- it doesn't cover what you want it to if you buy it a size or three too small.

(3) no woman should eat a Philly steak and cheese in a bikini.

(4) sushi? Poolside? Seriously?

(5) I get that you have a body that won't quit and that tattoo of your uncle with the RIP is really quite touching on your rock hard bicep, but those biker shorts are just a glorified banana hammock.

(6) past a certain age, say 25, or past a certain dress size, say 6, belly button rings ain't attractive.

(7) Bedazzling those two dimples at the bottom of your back- what was once a bull's eye is now fishing in a barrel with a bright shiny lure.

(8) A tattoo across your rib cage is one thing. Written in Latin does not make it better.

(9) Speaking of tattoos, confessing your eternal love under your left breast- that your string bikini does not cover up (but probably should) falls into the same category.

(10) A white bikini has always been a no-no. I believe we call that underwear.

I could go on, but tomorrow is another day.

1 comment:

BettieBoyd said...

All too soon , Rachel, you will leave tatland behind you and return to civilization! When you think of those belly rings, think of Eliz---not that she has one either!