Friday, October 26, 2012

Things I have learned in the last 18 hours

(1) Apple Cider can and will turn to vinegar.

(2) Apple Cider Vinegar, when given in a very large dose to a 3 year old, will make them throw up.

(2a) A lot.

(3) Before the vinegar will actually trigger the regurgitation, the 3 year old will give you plenty of warnings. Examples include, but are not limited to:
 (a) Telling MOTY that her stomach hurts
 (b) Asking politely (read: begging) to go home
 (c) Not wanting to play with her best pal at dinner
 (d) Crawling out of her chair and resting on MOTY's lap
 (e) Crawling over MOTY and into her father's lap
 (f) According to said father-- writhing in pain, continuing to say her stomach hurt

(4) When a toddler throws up in a Mexican restaurant with a Chinese waitress- they really don't want to clean it up (not that I expected them to)

(5) So much so, that when you ask for a mop... they'll bring it to you.
(5a) You'll have flashbacks of the kitty litter that your elementary school threw on kid yackage.
(5b) You'll gag at the memory, but not the current situation.

(6) Restaurants don't care much for vomit and will ask you just to throw away all the dishes and towels used to catch said Apple Cider Vinegar induced pukes.

(7) Surprisingly though, that Chinese waitress won't be too speedy on the check. Leaving your card with your friends, who also have a toddler and are also pregnant is the best idea.

(8) Said father will say eight times on the way home, "I knew she didn't feel good. She was writhing in pain." He'll say it so many times, in the car smelling like ... well... you know, that MOTY will finally say, "I get it. You knew. But, I didn't. I just assumed she was tired and being whiny. I'm sorry I didn't see it."

(8a) Said father was also covered in apple cider vinegar induced toddler vomit, so maybe I should have cut him a little more slack than the eight times I allowed him to say it before letting him know I had heard him loud and clear. Probably 10. He could have said it 10 times before I said anything.

(9) Apple Cider Vinegar induced stomach aches are short lived- even though they have lasting effects.

(10) Toddlers are resilient.

At least now I know.

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