Thursday, August 11, 2011

And I thought teething was bad.

What have I gotten myself into? Today is THE DAY. It's the day we start our farewell to diapers and our hello to Big Girl Panties. (which leads to learning that life ain't fair and she'll just have to deal with some things)

Yesterday, she ...planted a daisy... with much success (and screaming) and ... made water.... (Look, Ma-Mee... LODER! I lick?) in the designated proper place. This morning, we found.... a daisy... in her diaper and knew that today was the day. THE DAY. The timer has been set, the rules set, and the game started. Every success was cheered and every accident was (figuratively.... and a little literally) swept under the rug.

Twenty minutes... a chime from the timer.... a success... a goldfish.
A new twenty minutes... a new chime... a new success... a new goldfish.

Stretching to thirty minutes... Mom ran to the restroom (all this talk about warm water, making water, etc. made mom have to go!) and quickly returned to find LMC saying, "Look Ma-Mee, Loder! HA HA! I jump? I lick! I lick loder." 

NO! NO! NO! We don't lick this loder. No jumping in loder. Come on, back to the potty. 
The timer had 18 minutes left. (Why her obsession with licking any and everything is beyond me)

I google how to clean ...water... out of our oriental rugs. She sits. I scrub (with cold water first and then a solution of 1 part dish detergent & 3 parts cold water... followed by cold water- make a note, moms). I scoop her up and put on pair o' panties Numero Deux. The timer was reset for 20 minutes.

Her legs were crossed. I should have known. I. Should. Have. Known.

LMC-- let's go to the bathroom.
Do you have to go? (surely not, she's tinkled her brains out and it is not even 10am yet)
Okay.... legs still crossed. Uncrossed. Crossed. A little dance to the music. And then, there it was... water...


I scoop. I run. I'm covered. Panties tossed only to discover that daisies can be found in a variety of places. I clean the floor. I scrub the floor. I scour the floor. The bathroom rug gets tossed in the tub for scrubbing then the washer for washing. From the far end of our 1056 to the near end- 409and paper towels. 

"What doin' Ma-Mee?" She asks from her throne.
Oh, honey- potty training is so much fun! I'm cleaning because there just aren't enough hours in the day. Can you believe that? 
"YEAH!" She claps. I, internally, sigh.

While she sits, I return to the place of the crime and remove everything from the rug. After a second scrubbing in the second spot, it gets folded on top of itself until it is safe from water. The second rug gets rolled to the side. Towels under my feet & a squirt bottle of disinfectant as my sword, the water is defeated.

Twenty minutes on the timer. Clothes shucked. She runs and is curious about this new birthday suit she is donning (naked time is not something we normally schedule for our daughter.) and starts pointing... to, well, anyway... 

The timer chimes. She cries. NO TT-po... [daisy] potty. I scoop. I run. I replace the princess on her thrown. She cries louder. No TT! NO TT! And then, there was a memory--  that horrible slumber party trick from childhood... warm water, a hand, remember? Yeah, we did that. Twice over 45 minutes. And it worked like a champ.

Loder? I lick loder? 
No honey, this is not the water that you lick.

She's down for an (early) nap & Husband texted wife to ask how potty training was going...

"She's napping and I am thinking about drinking."

No response as of yet.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH! We need to start having Skype drinking sessions apparently.