Thursday, April 28, 2011


I love carbs.
It is really a simple statement, really, who does not? But, it is like saying I am a picky eater, which I am.
I love carbs.

If there was one meal I could have for the rest of my life, it would be turkey sandwiches with Hellmann's mayonnaise. If I had the option for a side, it would be extra crispy french fries. I'm not kidding. I love turkey sandwiches, with the crusts cut off.

I love beer. Some days, 5 o'clock rolls around, Husband is on call & it has just been a great day, or a horrible day, or it's just been a day. There is nothing better than going to the fridge, getting an ice cold bottle of beer, taking it outside and sitting and sipping and enjoying the early evening with my peanut and her juice. If Husband is home to join us, even better. I was never into liquor, it was way to potent, but I love beer like Eileen loves milk.

I love cheez-its. One summer, my first summer back home with Team Prom- as my pious companions and I called ourselves, I sustained life on cheez-its and Snackwell Chocolate Chip Cookies alone. And beer. Does this sound like I was 21 and still in college? Nope- we all had degrees, half of us were in law school, the other half worked in some fashion or another, and we had a great time. Getting back to it, we were all broke. BROKE, not too broke that we could not go to the Tavern, but broke enough that we had to sacrifice in other areas, like meals. A box of cheez-its could be found under any of our beds and couches. It left for plenty of room in the pantry for the necessities, like Snackwells Cookies.

I love breaded and fried most anything. My MIL makes this dish called cracker steak where she basically makes country fried steak, but breads it in crackers instead of flour. No gravy, which is not necessary. I swear, it is the very best thing she makes, and it is excellent. Which leads me to something else I love even more, saltines. Saltines are awesome. I always use the whole wheat kind for parties and dips. The taste is much more subtle than a Ritz or a Waverly and the crunch is much more satisfying. Every beach trip since I can remember, the only groceries I buy are saltines and chicken salad (and beer). It's breakfast. It's lunch. It's a snack. It's an appetizer. It's great. I love saltines.

Saltines, beer, cheez-its, and my very beloved turkey sandwiches are what sustain me.

Recently, I have been having some ... issues ... with .... well ... everything. My skin has been crazy with my allergies, my hands have been breaking out, I have been getting blisters all inside my mouth, the list goes on, but I have been chalking it up to allergies. Ethyldiame is in everything, and I just have to be aware of where it is. Sunscreen, Will's asthma medicine, Pampers, latex, Redken shampoo/conditioner, binders, some medicines, the spices used at Einstein Bros on the sandwiches, hair spray (which I still have leprosy spots on my noggin from our last run in a month ago), but really-- who wants to hear about where the damn chemical is? There is a point to all this.

My doctor recommended a couple of courses of action, the first involves going gluten free. My first question was, "What the hell is gluten?"

Much to my chagrin, gluten is in saltines. It's in beer. It's in cheez-its, turkey sandwiches, artificial flavorings, breading, bread, and any other thing that I really, really love eating.


I love food. I love cooking, organizing a kitchen, setting a table for a fancy meal, and all things, really, to do with food. I hate cleaning a kitchen and Husband can vehemently attest to that.

Plans. Excel sheets. Goals. Gluten Free here I come. Eight days GF later, I'm ready to talk about it. GF is not so bad. It ain't cold beer on the beach, but it is in a lot of the food I used to eat, plus more that I am not used to, like salads.

In the last 8 days, I have lost... without trying and without stepping foot in the gym (which I had been doing faithfully since December without a pound shed) five pounds! Woah. I was shocked when I stepped on the scale this morning, but very VERY pleased.

What else pleases me? Beer might be off the list, but wine's still on.

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