Tuesday, October 27, 2009

5 months

It really seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. Today is Eileen's five month birthday. When she wakes up from her nap, that is going on three hours, she will have her picture made next to the five month card and the date of October 27th, 2009. She will certainly wear her goofy hat that makes her look like a carrot. She hates it-- I love it. She looks so silly in it, but it makes me laugh while it keeps her head warm.

She has started eating cereal- rice cereal to be precise. "They" don't tell you this in the books, but take it from this Super Mom- no matter how the cereal is prepared, they hate it the first go-round. They'll gag, cringe, and otherwise tell you, "HEY! MOM! This is NOT tata milk. What makes you think I am going to like this?" But after two (or twelve) tries, they'll get the hang of it and might actually start to like it. Doctors (AHEM) tell these Super Moms that you should not mix it with tata milk, as it is "their experience" that it will not thicken up (they say without children). THEY are wrong. Listen to your fellow Super Moms on the little stuff and the doctors (however you might be related to them) on things like immunizations and swine flu.

Once a day, LMC is in her bumbo on the dining room table with me in front of her, silver spoon in one hand and a burp cloth in the other. We open wide and slide the cereal in with the spoon and scrape on the gums. Smacking like an old lady, somehow it finds its way down her throat and she opens her mouth for more. Four slow spoonfuls and twenty minutes later she squeaks with glee of a job well done.

At five months, LMC holds her head up when she is on her stomach and if you just peek into the pink nursery from the door, an eyeball to her crib reveals the smallest snippet of a head with four hairs over the edge. In the mornings, we find her on her back and as soon as the initial eye contact is made her arms and legs flail around revealing the happiest of toothless grins and the brightest of eyes.

She has my eyes. And that makes me smile.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Of a great comfort

My husband is an extraordinary person. He is kind, patient, gentle, loving, and unbelievably good at his work. I do not use the word “job” because that is not what it is to him- or to me.

He works- a lot. Few people really understand or appreciate how much he is at the hospital and how little he is at home. Fewer people know what it is like to have a spouse be in this career and those that do, understand how precious it is to have time together.

These things that I say are not meant to be a flag raised to let the pity party know that we are over here; they are said to lay the groundwork for this statement:

“Of a great comfort.”

Husband cannot bring his work home with him. What happens at the hospital, no matter how close it is to me or our family has to stay At The Hospital. HIPAA is a law and it is one that he takes very seriously. Anything I learn about Husband and his work comes from patients that approach me.

Sometimes they do.

Once, a grandfather from South Carolina approached me at McDonald’s and asked, “Are you Dr. Cagle’s wife?” Yes….. yes, I am. “I saw you talking to him yesterday. I just want you to know your husband is The Man!” I like to think so, too. Thanks!

The other day I saw some family members of one of his patients; they knew who I was, but I did not know who they were to my husband, a patient’s family. They, as a whole, grandparents and uncle, started asking questions about Husband and his future in medicine. The grandmother looked at me, square in the eye, and said, “When ___ was in the hospital for so long, Will was a great comfort to us.”

My heart sang. All those nights alone in our home, all those weekends when our friends were leaving for the football game or the beach without us, all those times eating at a table for one, all those times… all those times are meaningless because my husband was a great comfort to this family that needed him.

He was not wonderful. He was not fantastic. He was not amazing. He was something so much more—he was a comfort. And then they told ME.

I know my husband has something that pulls at him, a calling that has been calling him since he was quite young. He saves lives. And if he cannot save them, he makes them comfortable for the journey. All of them- family included. I put him on a pedestal because he deserves to be.

This life we lead together can be difficult at times, but it is a rewarding one.

Monday, October 12, 2009

All over again

It has taken me eight years and a month- to the day- to finally sit down and watch the Today Show from Sept. 11, 2001. Will and I sat in front of YouTube last night for over an hour watching, gaping, just in miserable disbelief all over again. But, we held a crystal ball to this footage unlike those college kids in Athens eight years ago. As Katie & Matt talked about "an accident" we knew in just minutes the second tower would be hit. And then the pentagon. And then a plane crash. It was just getting started, Katie.

It all started with a documentary on the JFK assassination and Walter Cronkite stating, "People everywhere will always remember where they were when they heard of the Presidents assassination."

And then Husband told me about his physics test. And I told him about a mountain weekend that was high priority to me at the moment before I heard those life changing words.

We pulled up the coverage and just started watching. How sad. How miserably sad and painful. People who believe that we should not be fighting a war should sit down in front of their computer and remind themselves what happened.

It was not quite the way I wanted to wind down a lovely two days with Husband, but I am glad to have watched it.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I did not forget

I was just busy... too busy to upload a few pictures from our trip to DC...

That back pack? That back pack allowed me to leave Eileen for 4 days. We schlepped it everywhere. But, it was worth it because we had the best time!

And, just in case you thought that Eileen was not growing...
This was taken (obviously) on the 27th, right before we left...

And this was taken right after we got back...

I'll tell you... she spent four days with PETF and Woo!!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Sunny Days

Big Bird and Elmo were never my fave growing up. I loved going to Grandma's house, she had cable, and I would sit and stare at Nickelodeon. Pinwheel was Number 1. Then there was Bill Cosby's show with the drawing, and the other one about the mannequin that turned into a person... and the buffoon of a security guard that could never catch him. Nickelodeon was my channel.

Eileen... notsomuch. She loves, I kid you not, Sesame Street. And now, I too, love Sesame Street.

It's funny. Not like ironic, funny. More like hilarious, funny. Right now, the gang is learning animal sounds and one is saying, "CEEK" and getting corrected to "QUACK."But the duck does not say, "quack" on the show. He says, "Mooo..." which makes me giggle. And Eileen squeaks.

It's great.

Last week, they were singing nursery rhymes and the two worms (whose names I have learned are Slimy and Glo Worm) were pretending to be Jack and Jill climbing up the hill. Instead of fetching a pail of water, they were singing in their high pitched worm voice, "Climb e'vry mountain..." at a worms pace from The Sound of Music. Eileen would squeak and I would laugh at my desk in the next room listening to the nonsense.


Yesterday, Elmo was learning to salsa- which was great for Little E. Elmo pranced across the screen repeating to himself, "1-2-3--e-e-e." And Eileen would squeak her, "EEEEEEE" over and over.

Just now, she was screaming bloody murder- like she was wearing orange at a Tennessee game or something. I popped her in the swing and flipped on Sesame Street from onDemand... seconds later... SECONDS, I hear the sweet squeaky "EEEEEE" from the little one watching Big Bird teach the duck to quack.

Elmo, I love you.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

my dirty habit

I turned this...

Into this...

This lovely little guy just needed a good home. Lucky we found each other...