Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Moving a Million Hearts in Mono

I have been asked, on several occasions, within the last two weeks, "How are you feeling?"

Six weeks ago, I would have lied and said, "You know... pregnant. Really though, I feel fine.".

Or, to those a little closer to me, I would have said, "You know... like most things in life, peaks and valleys."

Or, to Husband, grumpy and tired I would look at him when we crawled under the covers at the end of a quiet day and just whisper, "I don't feel good" and pretend that I did not want to cry.

Ask me today. Go on, ask. I dare you.

"Rachel, how are you feeling?"

I feel fine. She's in love with me and I feel fine.

I have a new lease on life. I have a new lease on pregnancy. Give me what ya got-- BRING IT. I might cry (shocker), but I can take it.

Continually, I am humbled and amazed by pregnancy and what a blessing gd-GD has been to both the Cagles. My last visit, two weeks ago, showed that my short frame has fleshed out (I love that expression) five pounds, still a net of negative 3 from where I was pre-gd-GD. Today proved that Excel sheets, dedication, exercise and admitting that not cheating are all good things. I weighed out at a 2 pound loss.

Do that math, you mathematicians! I am negative FIVE from where I was pre-gd-GD! Total weight gain... I cannot believe that I am typing this for cyber space... 14 pounds thus far!

My fondus (I have no idea what that is, but I do know that it sounds inappropriate and funny- it's not and it is) gained 4 cm. and is right in line with my 34 weeks of pregnancy.

We played with the 3Cs today-- Chrissy, Christy, and Casey. Chrissy checks us in at the ultrasound, Christy performs the ultrasound and Casey (the student) practices on my uterus. We offer to Casey to practice every time, mostly because it lets the ultrasound last longer & we get to watch our precious daughter suck her thumb, punch her fishbowl, or blink her eyes. We get to play with the 3Cs every week until June.

After playing with the 3Cs, we walked over to IGOR's domain (Ms. Fran), who performed my second non-stress test. This time though, I was cool, calm, and collected... a better 3C than crying, clammy, and cowardly! For the second time since this whole pregnancy got started wayyy back in September, I asked Husband for his phone.

"Who are you calling?"

"None of your business," with a wink & a smile.

ring.... ring.... ring.....

"HEY BUD!" came that old voice from DoeRun

"Oh, Tommy... it isn't Bud, it's Budette!"

"Hey Budette, how ya doin'?"

"Doin' great! Miss y'all! But, I wanted to let you know something."

"What's that?"

"If you ask reallll nice, I bet your son might let you hear your granddaughter's heartbeat."

"Oh YEAH?"

"Yeah! Hold on a sec..."

And for the second time, I took my father-in-law to a place where mothers go, husbands go, new moms, sisters, and friends, but rarely... if ever... do FILs get to go behind those heavy doors or even behind the curtains to this mysterious place where pregnant women are inspected and lose their humility, dignity, and embarrassment.

For the first time, my non-stress test was actually stress-free. No tears. Just that laughter from my diaphragm talking to Husband and Tommy. As Eileen's heartbeat came through loud and strong on the monotone speaker, we sat and listened to the next generation- incubating and waiting to be born. Her little pulses on the monitor moved all of our hearts.

And that's how a non-stress should go.

(PS- the nurses say she looks like Husband; I said she looked like Deedle & Tellis. Only time will tell!)

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