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Showing posts from March, 2017

Things get me thinking

This ten year business has me thinking about other marriages. For example, did you know that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were once married? I am sure you hear the sarcasm in that statement. 

But, did you know that they used to eat dinner naked?

I kid you not. Like, flapping in the wind for all to see- the birthday suit you were born with, N - A - K - E - D. While I am most certain that they thought this would sound so sexy, the reality is that it makes me wonder:

What did they eat?

Could you imagine if it were soup? 

“Honeyyyyy— shuck your shoes and your clothes at the door, I made chicken noo-dlllleeeee,” Jenn calls from the kitchen. Maybe Brad cringed a little and decided he wasn’t hungry, because if that soup spilled — the man would be in trouble.

If they ate naked, did she cook naked? Because that, my friends, is not hygienically correct. That isn’t sanitary and that’s just icky. Of course,I have to ask- if she cooked naked….

Did she cook bacon?

My money is on no.

And how did they come …

10 years!

Husband and I are celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe how truly fast time can fly when you aren't paying attention.

We just got back from our celebratory trip to Jamaica. It was the most fun. I can't say that enough. For the past two years we have talked about where we want to go and what we want to do. We went big. Landing in Jamaica, our private driver drove us to the resort where our personal butler opened the door with her white gloved hands.

I kid you not.

The Royal Plantation in Ocho Rios was spectacular and if you are on the fence about choosing where to drop a chunk of change, look no further. While we were there, we made some friends. Several newlyweds were on their honeymoon and they let these old folks pal around with them.  On the last night, one of the girls said, "Y'all have been married ten years and seem so happy. What's the one piece of advice you have for us?"

Almost simultaneously, we stated {loudly}, "DON&#…

Stillwater

It's 3 o'clock and Bennie is trying very hard to not nap. I find this incredibly frustrating and she has already received one spanking. On one hand, I want to force her to be still and sleep, but on the other, that awful other hand that makes me want to relish the moment and not punish her for not obeying- that other hand is telling me to smile and coddle her for another moment.

All I can see are the tufts of her curls and I have a flashback to being in the ICU with my brother's identical tufts and watching him sleep beside me. I wanted to protect him, take the scars away, and rewind the clock hours. Bennie, ever the image of my brother, looks like him in the bed next to me.

There is a fear resting in my heart of losing him and it is eternally a breath away. Sometimes, when the phone rings, it feels a little more urgent and I know that when I pick it up, there will be bad news and sadness on the other end. Just today, I received a phone call and before I picked it up, the wi…

What I fear

There are some things in life that I am truly and embarrassingly afraid of.

I am afraid of dead cockroaches. Alive ones, too. But I see more dead ones.
I am afraid of frogs.
I am afraid of those oversized grasshoppers. You know the ones that are like 6 inches long and 2 feet tall? When I see one outside, I scream and run the other direction.

These are things that make me quiver in fear.

I am not afraid of being mugged, shot, stabbed, heights, small spaces, or anything usual- but, put me in a room with dead cockroaches and frogs, I am a puddle.

There is something else that I must confess. I am afraid that I will become a hoarder. It is so easy to hoard and I come from a long line of successful hoarders. The things that my family can hide from sight but not from reach will astound and astonish you.

When I was a new mother and visiting my aunt, Birdie needed a diaper change. My aunt asked if I needed a mat and from virtually thin air she produced her son's kindergarten nap mat.

Her s…