So... this happened:
Rather by surprise on Saturday. After a day of contractions with my mom sitting by my side and the kids wrangling with Husband, I looked at Husband and said, "I'd rather look like an idiot and have to come home a second time than be wrong and end up at the hospital in the wee hours of the morning."
At 38 weeks, I was examined, admitted, and experienced some of those things they tell future moms about. Moms that have had c-sections or scheduled inductions do not get the pleasure of experiencing. Things that unless you experience them for yourself- you really have no idea what they are talking about.
These crazy kids came to visit us on Sunday...
While Husband's parents were on their way up, my parents sat with us and the girls crawled all over their grandparents and daddy trying to get to their new baby brother. New baby brother needs a nickname. Something cool. We'll get to that.
While they crawled and got into every drawer or crevice, I was on a morphine drip to help with the insane amount of pain I had found myself in. When nurses, doctors, or elders talk about "staying ahead of your pain," they know what they are talking about. I had fallen far, far behind it.
Shortly after lunch, I found myself huddled over a bucket throwing up helpless to move while my mom held a bluing baby running to find a nurse with Bennie clipping at her heels. It seems that our son had choked on milk and started to change colors. Mom could not find a nurse in the hall, which lead her to a door to set off an alarm. That alarm sent everyone running for a Code Pink to discover it was actually a Code "Blue."
While they were assessing him, a nurse tucked me back in bed with medicine that sent me off to another planet. I awoke to make the discovery that he would be heading to the NICU for at least 48 hours.
Husband walked with his son down to the NICU to see that the "dream team" was working Sunday night. People he has known since medical school and girls I have known since high school. Competent members of the medical profession whose friendly faces were welcoming and made me cry. Cry from relief that the hands that cared for him would be friendly hands filled with love.
Those hands quickly took him from the cusp of health back to fine-fettle. Those hands held our son and loved him back to the good graces of vigor and wellness. It was but a blip on our screen and nothing we chose to focus our fear on, rather our love for these people who work so hard for babies who cannot care for themselves.
We head home today with a new carseat filled with a new child, less than 72 hours after the birth of our first son and our last child. It was a surreal moment kissing his head for the first time, knowing it will be the last time I kiss a new baby of mine. This chapter of my life- the chapter of incubating and creating life- has ended and we will get on to the business of raising our three children; I will get on to the business of focusing back on being their mom and his wife first, my two most favorite jobs in the world.
When we get home, when we get settled, when we develop a normal - I will update at that point. Until then though, I need to take a few days to find my feet and a few weeks to find my sea legs with three.