Dietitian

This pregnancy has been night and day different from the other two pregnancies totaling 77 weeks. Down to the test and up through the weeks, things are just... different. I am not going to say better, because that would really get us off on the wrong foot- and they aren't better (they are), they are just .... different. And different can be good. Apparently, testosterone agrees with me.

As I sit and type, Husband is studying for his big-BIG test that takes place in exactly 30 days. LMC and Bennie are wreaking havoc on this kitchen-- LMC jumping over (in) the food that Bennie has thrown on the floor- please note- peas are preferred to carrots and corn is not approved. Bennie finding any number of any thing to move from where it was to where it is. Read: I'm still trying to get the kitchen clean.

I just finished the last Publix sub that I will have for several weeks. It's okay, I'm ready. gd-GD won't beat me down. And, to be fair- I have not actually been diagnosed with gd-GD... yet. It's coming, of that I am certain, and the diet will change.

No more cookies.
No more Totino's pizzas (my current weakness. Do you know how good those $1.49 pizzas are?! Even when one is not in college, broke, or overindulged-- those suckers are yum-yum-yumm).
No more over carb-ed meals with sub bread or too much pasta.
No more sugary wonderfulness.

With cravings like cookies, whole milk, and Totino's-- one would think that this lovely little thing would have acquired somewhere in the realm of forty pounds at this point. Or, even the recommended ten pounds at 22 weeks of pregnancy.

Nope.

I have not put on one pound ... yet.

When I mention this random fact about me to friends or family, the majority respond with a, "WOW! That's great!" As I agree- even if I am not working for it. Stick it, health nuts. Cookies aren't bad for the hips. Lack of cookies are bad for the soul.

And before you get all medical knowledge on me, let the disclaimer show that Sir Nameless Baby Boy is growing just fine. I have not felt him kick, but our last ultrasound revealed that my placenta is attached to the front instead of wherever-else-it-is-supposed-to-be. He jumped all over the screen and I did not feel it. Scar tissue and two previous c-sections will do that to a uterus.

In anticipation of this upcoming diagnosis, compliments of my very conservative doctor, I met with a dietitian last week. We did not see exactly eye-to-eye when my lack of weight gain was revealed.

"You mean to tell me you have not put on a single pound?"
"Yep." (hiding my smile, because I caught her tone)
"Not a pound?"
"It should be in my chart. Is it there?"
"Yes. It just surprises me. And the baby?"
"Fine-- doing great."
"What are you eating during the day?"

Wellllll....... I was not exactly forthcoming in all that I ate.

What she heard:

blueberry muffin and water for breakfast
handful of nuts for a snack
turkey sandwich and chips with a diet coke
granola bar
tomato bisque for supper with sugar free jell-o for dessert

What reality was:

blueberry muffin slathed in butter with apple juice for breakfast
cookie
another cookie
piece of cheese with a large glass of whole milk
turkey sandwich and chips with a diet coke (truth)
cookie with more whole milk
tomato bisque, pasta Alfredo with chicken and a cookie for dessert (and maybe... just maybe a glass of red wine)

I wasn't too far away from fact. Yep. And pumpkin futures peak in December.

She gave me a recommendation of 2000 calories a day with no more weight maintenance- I needed to eat. Seriously? I wasn't underweight before I got pregnant. I was a little on the heavy side of things with no bikinis in my foreseen future if we need to speak the truth.

Her sample  menu for me consisted of:

breakfast: 3/4 cup Cheerios and 1 cup of milk (no fruit or fruit juice)
snack 1: cashews and cheese
snack 2: 6 oz yogurt
lunch: turkey sandwich, 9-13 chips, 6 oz yogurt OR a smoothie with 1 1/4 cups of strawberries
snack 3: 1/2 english muffin with chicken salad and 8 oz. milk
snack 4: scrambled egg on toast
supper: 1 cup succotash, english muffin, chicken, and 8 oz milk

I don't know about you-- but if I ate that much in a day... I would have to be rolled back to my next appointment and weight would definitely be added. I go back to the doc on Wednesday for the three hour glucose test to confirm what is already suspected. gd-GD be damned! Bust out the excel sheets and sorry cookies-- I might love you and hide you from my children (because, yeah- I'm that mom), but you will have to go by the wayside. With my Publix subs. And my Totino's pizzas. And my whole milk. And all those yummy things that fall into the carb category.

Final thought:

Parting words from the dietician, "You mean you don't eat vegetables that often, right?"
Me: "No."
Her: "You don't eat them at all?"
Me: "Yep. Fruits either. I take gummy vitamins. Does that count?"
Her, looking at me over her glasses: "No."

Comments

mamathreads said…
I am so, so, so glad to know I'm not the only adult who looooves Totino's pizzas. ;) I mean really...that crust that just crumbles into delicious little nothings as soon as you take a bite? Ugh, I'm craving one right now! Hope you (both!) do well on your upcoming tests. :)
Julie Snodgrass said…
You started my day with a good dose of laughter! I think Jacob's athletic ability stems from consumption of past Totino's pizzas! Love your response about the gummi vitamins! Congrats on your pregnancy!