Saturday, March 23, 2013

Chomp

LMC was bitten at school today. It was a good'un. On one hand, I didn't see a problem, nor did I really know how to handle it. On the other, I was thankful that I was not there when it happened, to see the tears from both parties, and have to maintain a cool and level head managing the frustrations of toddlers and their emotions.

The teacher, who is full of love, promptly pulled me aside when I walked in and told me what happened. She was upset about it and the other party had to be sent home. Both the mother and child were upset. The mother, embarrassed as you can imagine.

But, was anyone really at fault?

As a parent, this is uncharted territory. Hell, everything is uncharted and the learning curve is steep and fast. How should I handle it and how would I want it handled if the shoe was on the other foot?

LMC was a happy girl with no complaints. She showed me that when she bites herself it doesn't hurt- which opened the door to the conversation. That we don't bite. And we don't retaliate in anger as it leads to a standoff.

"What's a standoff, Mama?"

I hit you, so you hit me back. I hit you again, and in anger, you hit me back. Does that accomplish anything?

No.

Does it get your point across?

No.

So, we are in a standoff. And nothing gets accomplished. Did it hurt when she bit you?

Yeah. I cried.

I am sorry. These things aren not going to get any easier, but she bit you and you have to move past it.

Yeah. Because she's my friend.

She is. And y'all are big buddies. Is it more fun to have fun with friends or be in fights?

Have fun!

So, let's have fun!

We got home and when she was not around, I picked u p the phone and called the culprits mother. What would I want to happen if she was the biter, rather the bitee?

"I have to tell you. I don't know what to say. It's is my first time parenting. LMC isn't worried about it. I am not worried about it. So, how about y'all don't worry about it? LMC says that they are still friends. If you are okay with that, I am okay with that."

Did I do it right? I don't know. All I can hope is that as she gets older it won't get easier, but she she gets more tools and arrows in her quiver to give her the confidence to move past it.

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