One almost two year old. Answers to the name, Eileen. Father is unresponsive behind the hospital walls.
Has taken to whining, throwing rice krispies, eating nothing but goldfish, and getting stuck in chairs. Fortunately, while getting stuck in chairs is easy... detangling out of the stroller straps and easing out so discreetly that the driver runs over her, yep- she's good at that one, too.
Lucky for the owner of said two year old, she is just tall enough to push buttons on elevators, open doors that have been closed, and knows how to arch her back in such a way so as not be strapped into her chair or carseat. Her ability to stash snacks, juice cups (for the Apocalypse & we need penicillin), mom's headbands and sunglasses, as well as remote controls and credit cards will be an asset to anyone who is worried of burglaries.
This two year old is smart, too. Scissors, no matter where they are placed in the kitchen, can be found by her two little hands fumbling around in any number of drawers found, literally, over her head. Scissors are recommended to be relocated to behind a closed door... that you have a key to. She is excellent at helping cut flowers, as she will hold your keys and phone, before tossing them into the thick flowerbed of wildflowers where they cannot be seen without an application of scissors. Eileen is also fond of opening the heavy drawers in her bedroom, only to remove every article of clothing in the two lone drawers, before gleefully acknowledging her hard work with an "I DEED IT!" clapping and running off to the kitchen like a dowel rod to water, or like an Eileen to scissors.
She naps really well, though. So, there is some saving grace. And, while her shoe fashion lacks, and she can pull any bow out of her curly hair, she gives the best kisses.
So, there must be some saving grace, right? It is a good thing that she is a patience taker, because I am a mountain maker.