Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Calling the doc

We, as a whole, hold doctors as the end-all, be-all for knowledge. And why not? They have anywhere from 4-8 more years of education and 2-6 years of training on us. Most importantly though, they wear white coats.

New parents, doctors being no exception, are clueless about most things. Things you NEED to know- is it normal that she drools this much? She tinkles... a lot. Is it okay that her nose is turning orange? Yes, okay, and yes-it's the carrots. You learn by doing and by child six or eight, you pretty much have the rhythm down and the answers to the 8,966 questions they don't teach in medical school.

Things we would never call on for ourselves will hit "speed dial 3" for the doctor's office and in a panic, an absolute panic, we breathlessly tell the nurse It's Important. A few minutes later... the calming air of the doctor says, like they almost always do, "Baby is fine." You sigh, get off the phone, and move forward with your day... minutes later, forgetting what a panic you were in because they were sucking two fingers instead of three.

I was not going to be this mom. I want to be a model patient. I want to be a model client. Just ask my Excel sheets.

So... Husband was unreachable one afternoon and Eileen and I were just having the best day playing and otherwise having girl time together. Until I noticed something... she was breathing.

No, no, no-don't give me that. She was breathing...funny. Puff Puff Puff Puff sighhhhhhh and then a few minutes later, same thing- Puff Puff Puff Puff sighhhhhhh. Of course, it took me an hour to realize that she had been doing it for so long. Once I noticed it, I hit speed dial 3.

"MOM. Eileen's breathing funny."

"WHAT?!? Call Dr. Freeman. Quick!"

Panic? Oh, panic left me 10 minutes ago- multiply panic by 50.

Phone calls between nurses and Dr. Freeman called me back, "What's wrong with my girl?"

My. Girl.

Instantly, instantly....I knew I had officially fallen into that category of those moms. Dude....

Soft and easy, this old southern gentleman asks if she was turning blue...
No.

Are her lips blue?
No.

Her ears?
Her EARS? No.

Is she playful?
Yes.

Does she otherwise seem...normal?
Um...yes.

Well, have Will give her a looksie when he gets back, but my diagnosis is she's fine.

I felt like a moron. He made me feel like a responsible parent and mother, but I called my doctor because my child was... breathing.

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