Yesterday marked the beginning of a large change in my pregnancy. A scary one. But, one that both Will & I are taking by the horns and dealing with. I have gestational diabetes. It is not news we wanted, however, it is news that we cannot change.
Diabetes is something I am very unfamiliar with, having only read about a fourteen year old girl with it in "The Babysitters Club" series about 20 years ago. Stacy from NYC who relocated to Stoneybrook and met up with Claudia (the artsy one), Kristen (the tomboy), and MaryAnn (the shy one). Anyway, Stacy had diabetes- but she wore emerald green berets & the boys thought she was cute.
My new duties, in addition to being a good home for Eileen, now involve counting every carb that enters my mouth, pricking my finger & testing my blood sugar four times a day, increased exercise and lots and lots of planning as grabbing Cheerios with half & half has gone by the wayside with peanut butter m&ms, tying my own shoes, and button pants.
I am overwhelmed with the massive amount of knowledge I have to absorb in the very short amount of time as days count, not weeks. There are things to learn, excel sheets to document, and books to read.
My family has been amazing in the last twenty four hours- Brother makes jokes, Martha gives me the positive thoughts on what to take from it, Mom reads just as fast & furiously as I do, Dad is really, really supportive and understanding- which is really the most valuable thing to me right now, Deedle still wants fun Aunt RaRa- which I have to live up to, and Tellis lets me hold her, smiles & reminds me that all of this is for something greater than just me.
And Husband, breakdown after breakdown I had yesterday, Husband was there explaining to me how this works and pointing out the yummy things I can do and have instead of what we cannot do.
He has jumped into this diabetes business with both feet and without so much as a blip, peep, or stutter.
Yesterday, I tried to make a fried egg... it took 2 frying pans, 3 spatulas, and 4 eggs before I almost got it right and had a half-way cooked egg that I had to finish off in the microwave (it neither tasted good nor was it fully cooked). If I was the "glass is half-empty" type of person, I would have said half-way runny.
At first, we did not want to tell anyone, but thought maybe silence might not be the best way to combat this. Some things can be hard to explain, but if others know, then maybe they will understand. Mostly, I was afraid of pity-- this is not a death sentence. This is just something we have to handle before it becomes something more serious.
This will become, like most things in life, something that will be softer and less life changing than it is today. This will be a challenge, but it is one that comes with an amazing group of people helping both me & Eileen, with doctors, nurses, a specialist, a priest, family and friends.
And I never said I was not up for a challenge.